More Rules for Calizuelans

by Lou Binninger

Each January, Calizuelans are notified that their legislators have made nearly 1,000 new laws as aspects of our lives are discovered that they don’t control. This year, 1,016 bills were signed into law of the 1,217 sent to Governor Brown.

If you think in terms of 10 years that’s about 10,000 more state laws each decade to keep us under subjection. For some reason that seems more ominous than by the year. And to think we started with just 10 rules.

You remember...Worship only God. No graven images or idols. Don’t cuss using God’s name. Honor the Sabbath day. Honor your father and mother. Don’t murder. Don’t commit adultery. Don’t steal. Don’t slander your neighbor. And, don’t covet.

Lawmaking has gone downhill from there. The Supreme Court in 1857 ruled thought Black people could be owned, bought and sold like property. Dred Scott, an enslaved African American man, unsuccessfully sued for his freedom and that of his wife and two daughters. Nope, can’t have that.

Then after that decision was corrected another Supreme Court found that killing unborn babies was the right thing to do. In 1973, the Supreme Court ruled that states could not criminalize or restrict access to abortion.

In 1966, Republican Supreme Court Justice Harry Blackmun’s 19-year daughter Sally, a sophomore in college, became pregnant. The family was embarrassed and Sally then married the boyfriend. Three weeks after the marriage, she had a miscarriage. The couple divorced after 6 years and the ordeal delayed Sally’s pursuit of a law degree. We can’t have that.

Blackmun sought the opinion of Sally and his wife Dorothy in his effort to legalize abortion. A strategic family’s time of difficulty led to the killing of 50 million babies so far. Laws often come to us for un-Godly reasons.

Here are a few of the new state laws. Calizuela is the first state to mandate a vegan meal option in prison. This law includes hospitals and healthcare facilities, as well.

Under the category of “free enterprise,” Sacramento Socialists now forbid restaurants to offer plastic straws without a request. After a couple warnings then it’s a $25 fine per incident up to $300 a year for habitual criminals. At Lumberjacks last Sunday we requested a handful of contraband.

Also, under kids’ meals, the default drink now is water or unflavored milk. If you insist, other drinks are there for the children. Neither the business nor you are able to have it your way without a fight. A person gets elected to office and now wants to tell you what to eat.

Then, legislators just felt something was lacking. We don’t have an official state sport. Although people in the State of Jefferson would have preferred snowboarding or skiing we now have surfing. Feel better? You know, LA calls the shots for all of us.

Now, not only will the state accidently register thousands of illegal voters via the DMV but all mail-in ballots will have prepaid postage. That saves corrupt vote harvesters the time and money to come up with stamps.

Under employment law, if you ever wonder whether rookie workers are considered stupid by the nanny state this proves it. The arrogant government has nothing invested in any private enterprise but insists on managing the payroll. It cannot allow an employer and potential employee to agree on pay and working conditions. So, employers break the law by paying less than $12 an hour if they have 26 or more workers.

Employers and landlords are evil in the eyes of Calizuela judges. Try going to court on frivolous injury and compensation disputes or evictions. It’s better to pay free-loaders off rather than face a tainted judge.

Remember SB 54, the “Calizuela Values Act.” This is the new Sanctuary State law where illegal alien criminals are more “valued” than law enforcement and citizens. The problem is that the protected killers and rapists seem to target conservative victims rather than the families of Democrat lawmakers. Fourteen of 58 counties and 20 cities have rejected being a Sanctuary County / City. However, no jurisdiction in the Yuba and Sutter area has taken a stand against the insanity.

Your next driver’s license can list you as male, female or nonbinary for in-between. Let’s all go nonbinary next renewal for fun. And if you find yourself in a care home and you are a guy feeling lady-like you can use the girls’ room regardless of your God-issued plumbing.

Finally, our rulers now tell pet shops what pets they can sell. There are a thousand more new rules just like these.

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